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No Gods, No Kings... Only Man, part 4/4 - Dex
No Gods, No Kings... Only Man, part 4/4
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Title: No Gods, No Kings... Only Man
Author: dextrosinistral (frankie_felony)
Artist(s): ammo and h4ppy_fun_b4ll
Beta: wellworld
Rating Mature
Word count: ~30,900
Characters/pairings: Castiel/Jimmy, Dean/Castiel/Jimmy, Jimmy/Amelia, hints of assumedly one-sided Gabriel/Castiel, hints of Castiel/Meg, hints of Crowley/Castiel
Warnings: Canon violence; rude nicknaming; possible Stockholm and Lima syndromes; abandonment issues; depression; symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia; symptoms of dissociative identity disorder; self-inflicted damage
Fic masterpost: here
See master post/part I for summary and notes
Castiel is losing his damn mind. There's no other explanation for it. He tells Dean he doesn't care about what he thinks—which, honestly, he needed to do a long time ago—and breaks the wall that Death put in Sam's head. He figures out how to double-cross Crowley for the Purgatory-opening ritual, kills Balthazar right as Jimmy starts to decide he actually likes the guy, and doesn't want to give Crowley any of the souls. And he refuses to listen to reason. Jimmy doesn't know when he became the voice of reason, but someone has to try.

His angel opens Purgatory by himself because he thinks he can become God. And it's not Jimmy and Castiel anymore: It's Jimmy, Cas, and a veritable fuck-tonne of other souls, more than he could ever count. Crowley runs for the hills, which is probably the best choice, and Raphael tries to ask for mercy. Jimmy thinks that's not likely, and he's right. Cas kills Raphael and then tells Dean and Bobby that he did save them, like he said he would.

Dean sort of smiles and nods but proposes that Cas put the souls back and go back to being himself. Cas says he still has to take care of the angels who sided with Raphael. Dean tells Cas that he's family, and they don't want to lose him. Jimmy really wonders what kinds of fucked-up relationships the Winchesters have with each other and their father and anyone else they've ever been related to. Castiel rebuffs Dean, but Sam sneaks up and stabs the angel. Nothing happens.

Cas tells Sam the sword won't work because he's not an angel anymore. He's God. This sounds astoundingly like those religious delusions Jimmy's old therapist told him about... what, five years ago now? Jimmy is surprised he even remembers that. He vaguely wonders how Dr Richards is doing. He doesn't think it makes a difference since he's never going to be able to step back into his old life. He still tries not to think of Amelia and Claire, but it's hard. He doesn't want to forget them, but he doesn't want to imagine Claire growing up without him.

Jimmy shakes himself out of his thoughts because he has a more pressing need to deal with whatever Castiel has gotten them into. His angel wants to be worshipped like he's God, but not if they don't mean it. Dean says that Cas promised to fix Sam, but Cas tells him that the condition of that promise was that Dean didn't fight him again. Since Dean did go up against him, Cas doesn't have to help Sam now. He won't kill them but he also won't help them. Jimmy thinks that's entirely unfair, after everything they've been through together. Cas says he'll let Bobby and the Winchesters live as long as they don't oppose him again, and then he leaves them.

Jimmy asks his angel where they're going. Cas says he has to fix some things. He takes them to heaven, kills a number of angels, and then inexplicably lectures them about needing an authority figure to follow. Jimmy is more confused than he's ever been. His angel has completely lost it. He has to figure something out before Cas does something rash. It's this whole 'God' thing. It's turning Castiel into someone that Jimmy doesn't recognise.

Castiel takes them to a church where the preacher is going on about Lady Gaga and picketing weddings and funerals. He calls the preacher out, saying he doesn't care about sexual orientation but he can't stand for hypocrites—like the preacher. The preacher tries to argue, but Cas challenges him to tell the congregation what he's been doing in the bedroom before he speaks for God.

The preacher, the poor bastard, asks who Cas is. Cas answers simply, "I'm God." Jimmy tells Cas that no, he isn't. One man gets up to stop him, but Cas smites that one and then the preacher. "And he who lies in my name shall choke on his own false tongue and his poisonous words shall betray him." He turns to leave, but something gives him pause. He stares at the stained—glass window until it looks like him and burns the back of the pew where his hand is resting, and then, satisfied, goes on his way.

Castiel goes after anyone he thinks is not righteous, but he also does do a few good things. He finds Crowley and makes an offer. He has no plans on killing Crowley; he wants him to continue to be the King of Hell—with one catch. Cas gets to pick who goes to Hell and who doesn't. Crowley scoffs and asks if Cas is scaling Hell down. Cas acknowledges that he would have gotten rid of Hell entirely, but he needs to be able to threaten his enemies. Finally Crowley accepts since it's a better option than death.

There's a welt on his hand. Jimmy notices it first. He perversely wants to wait and see how long it's going to take his angel to see it. In the end, reason wins out: Castiel may be occupying him for the rest of eternity, but it's Jimmy's own damn body, and he's not going to watch it fall apart because his angel is an idiot. So he nudges Cas, tells him to check out their hand. He wants to know why he's suddenly falling apart.

The once-blind man Cas heals asks what's wrong with his face. Jimmy wonders if it's a progression of the thing with his hand. He starts to notice something else is wrong: His insides are shifting around. It feels like awkward indigestion. That wiggly feeling, that's all the souls, isn't it? There are a lot of them in here. Jimmy can't count them all.

Castiel finds the Winchesters and Bobby in the home of a terrified couple. They've just bound Death. He says he didn't want to kill the boys, but he's changed his mind. Dean says that even if Cas tried, he couldn't. Death agrees, and asks if it isn't annoying. He asks Dean, "'God'?" Jimmy doesn't think that sounds good.

Death raises an eyebrow at them, as if he knows Jimmy's misgivings. He tells Cas, "Your vessel's melting. You're going to explode." Cas says he's not melting and that he can repair himself. Jimmy screams at Cas that this isn't what he signed up for when he asked Cas to possess him the second time. Death says that Cas thinks he can do these things because of the souls, but that's not the real problem. The problem, it seems, is that there are things besides souls in Purgatory, and Cas ate those, too.

Castiel says that isn't important: He's in control, at least for now. Dean asks what the older things are. Death explains that before people—or angels, for that matter—were invented, there were the Leviathan. They're the original beasts and, coincidentally, the reason that Purgatory happened. Death says he thought they were amusing, but they were too problematic, so they had to be sequestered.

And now they're hanging out with all of the souls in Jimmy's body because Castiel is completely stupid. At least, that's what Jimmy gathers. He's still trying to process the whole bit about the Leviathan. That name sounds vaguely familiar, but he can't place exactly why. He's glad when Death calls his angel out for being a fool, though.

Cas asks what makes him stupid. He asks if it's because he opened that door. He thinks he's done something good, trying to become God. Death mocks him for it. Cas asks Death what he's even supposed to be. They have a short exchange about what the horseman is destined for, and Death laughs again. He walks a short circle and says, "Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas. I know God, and you sir, are no God."

Hilariously, Dean is the one who tells them to stop having a pissing contest. Death sighs and means to reap Cas: The Winchesters have bound him, and they have apparently asked him to reap Cas in order to stop the madness. Castiel breaks Death's binding because it serves the brothers right, and then he leaves without bothering to find out if he would still be reaped.

Jimmy is inordinately impressed with Death. If there's one person he ever wants on his side, it's definitely Death.

Castiel takes them to the office of some political candidate. Jimmy has no idea who she is, but Cas walks into the building and tells the man who approaches that he needs to see the senator about "abuse of power". He still thinks he's God, doesn't he? He goes on a rant of some kind about how she's doing terrible things in his name and how he's going to be better at God's job than God was. Jimmy can't help but hold out some hope that maybe Cas will do a better job than everyone's imaginary heavenly Father. If he does, it would almost make up for all of the crazy Jimmy has been trying to control.

Jimmy wakes up in the office Cas invaded, and it is covered in blood. The wiggling feeling is getting worse. But Sam calls for him and offers help, and Cas goes to him. He needs help, and he finally admits it. They go to the workshop that Crowley and Cas had used and start getting everything ready to open Purgatory again. Castiel apologises for everything and says he would fix Sam if he could.

Dean doesn't seem to be even considering it. He asks if apologising makes Cas feel better about himself. Cas says it doesn't. Jimmy tells him that's how it's supposed to be. Bobby tells Cas that it'll just be a minute. They open Purgatory again, and Cas sends the souls back. Something is still wrong, though. Jimmy can feel it, even as his angel collapses on the floor.

Castiel seems shocked to be alive, and he thanks Bobby and Dean. He wants to atone for his missteps. They start to leave, but the wiggling feeling comes back. Cas pushes Dean and Bobby away and tells them to run. They don't, of course, and then Castiel is gone. Jimmy is trapped in his body with these Leviathan and suddenly, he remembers, from the Sunday school lessons he'd had as a child, why they were familiar. And goddamnit, what did Cas do to him?!

The Leviathan throw Bobby and Dean across the room like they're nothing and leave them in the workshop. Jimmy feels like he's falling apart, like his body is aging and dying in rapid succession. He's too young for this. He isn't supposed to age or die, that's what his angel told him when he asked to be possessed again. But his angel is gone, and he must figure out what to do on his own.

He hides. He doesn't know what else to do. He can't leave his body, and he doesn't like not having his angel around. He knows the Leviathan are going to kill him if he isn't careful, and he's not ready for that to happen. So he retreats to the furthest reaches of himself and hopes that somehow, this will all be set right. The Leviathan know he can't contain them all and survive; they have to find a way out. Jimmy can only anticipate that they will do so before he explodes. They find the local water supply and walk into the reservoir. Jimmy is certain that this means he's going to die.

He doesn't know where he is or when it is when he wakes up. He's barely even aware of who he is, but he does have vague memories of being devoted to a wife and daughter. It takes him a moment to realise he's in a river, and he's naked. It's cold, and it doesn't get any warmer when he crawls up onto the ground. He sits under a tree while he considers his options, and while he's thinking a woman approaches him and asks if he's all right. He looks up at her and says he's not sure.

She says her name is Daphne, and she takes him home. She tells him that God brought them together. He's sure she's wrong, that it isn't possible, but it wouldn't be smart to argue. He thinks he's had this argument with someone before, but he doesn't remember who or when. This woman, Daphne, she helps him find a name—Emanuel. He thinks that's an odd choice for a name, but since he already let her have that 'God' led her to him, he doesn't think he can argue this now.

He has an uncanny ability to heal people. Daphne tells him that he should use this 'gift' to help those who are less fortunate. He feels like he's done some terrible things that he can't remember. The least he can do to atone is use his mysterious skill. She supports him with his healing, both financially and otherwise.

They marry shortly after Daphne gets him started with his healing. He's not entirely comfortable with the idea. He doesn't remember what happened to the wife and daughter he's sure he has. No one seems to be looking for him, though: He talks his way into being able to check missing-persons files for the area, and there's no one who matches his description. He doesn't know how he manages to accomplish that, but he's not about to question it.

Emanuel wakes up in the middle of the night from a dream where his name is Jimmy: He's got a guest in his head, but the only name that seems to fit is 'my angel'. That can't possibly actually be the name, so he guesses that maybe his angel is called Emmanuel. They must be close, if Jimmy calls him things like his angel. He wonders if among his past transgressions is being unfaithful to the wife he vaguely remembers loving very much.

He gets a blinding headache when he tries to remember more of the dream. He shrugs it off as weird coincidence.

Emanuel gets home just in time to see a pouty-mouthed man stab a man with a horrible face. He doesn't know either of them, but he feels strangely drawn to the one who's still alive. They go inside, and he unties the ropes binding Daphne. She tells him the man was looking for him, not her. He introduces himself to the stranger, who says his name is Dean, and thanks him for protecting Daphne.

Dean says the man he killed was a demon, and that there are tonnes of them still walking the earth. Daphne tells Dean about Emanuel, and Dean says that he needs help with his brother. Emanuel agrees and goes with Dean to see what he can do. He wonders if Dean knows more about them than he's letting on.

In the car, Dean asks Emanuel about himself and about Daphne. Emanuel tells him that she found him and took care of him. He tells Dean the whole story, and Dean says it must be weird to not know who he is. Emanuel shrugs it off; he doesn't think he's a bad person any more. He asks more about the brother, Sam. Dean says it's not a medical issue, which is fine; that's never been a problem for Emanuel.

Dean tells him about someone who "broke" his brother's brain. Emanuel asks if this was someone who was supposed to be a friend, this man who betrayed them. Dean says it doesn't really matter because he's not here anymore. Emanuel wants to know if Dean killed the man; he has a sudden thought that that's not how it went down. Dean says no, but the man might be dead.

Dean is pouring his heart out, like he's known Emanuel for years. It's confusing. Dean pulls up outside a convenience store and goes in, presumably for a snack. He tells Emanuel to sit tight while he's inside. Emanuel waits patiently while Dean takes forever to pick up snacks. He's confused when Dean returns with a woman—a demon. Dean says she's friendly. That seems odd. She says her name is Meg, and she looks Emanuel up and down like a piece of meat. He wonders if they have a history that he doesn't know about.

It's an awkward ride the rest of the way to Dean's brother. Meg and Dean seem to be keeping something from Emanuel. Dean makes a crack about Meg that is apparently a joke. Somehow, the drive gets even more uncomfortable after that.

The hospital where Sam is staying is surrounded by demons. Emanuel can see them all. He doesn't know what they should do about that, and Dean and Meg step off for an argument. He hears them and interrupts their fight. He's figured out that they all know each other, and he's sure that he can handle whatever the story is. Dean asks if he's sure, and Meg says he's an angel.

Emanuel asks if she's flirting with him. He has a sensation that someone isn't happy about that; that nobody gets to call him angel if they aren't... Jimmy? But Jimmy isn't real, is he? Meg says it's a species. That makes more sense. It also explains why he can heal people, why he doesn't need to eat. He wants to know why they had to hide that from him. It doesn't sound like a bad gig. Dean assures him it's pretty terrible, though.

Meg says they fought together, that they were close friends. Emanuel processes this when Dean doesn't deny it and then asks if he's this Castiel person. All Dean does is look away. Emanuel—no, Castiel, he has to be Castiel—he apologises because he doesn't remember them. He also doesn't know how to smite any of the demons that are in their way. Dean says it's like riding a bike, but Cas doesn't know how to ride a bike.

He agrees to try in the end. He approaches the hospital doors, and one of the demons says he's supposed to be dead. Cas says, "So I heard," and lays his hand on the demon's forehead. As the demon falls, memories flood back. He dispatches the rest with ease. He remembers everything now. And Jimmy—Jimmy is his vessel, a smart-mouthed, vexing man, somehow still an atheist even after spending five years playing host to an angel. Where is he?

He can't dwell on that for long. He has amends to make. He asks why Dean didn't say anything, and Dean says because his brother needs help, and that's more important. Cas doesn't think he should still be here. He tries to leave, but Dean follows. Dean tries to defend Cas's past actions, but Cas doesn't want to hear it. The number of deaths he's caused—both on Earth and in Heaven—and everything else. He doesn’t understand why he's back. Dean takes Jimmy's trench coat out of the car and offers it to him.

Castiel finds Sam and tries to fix the wall, but it's gone. He and Dean argue about what to do when Cas gets an idea. It's not a very good one, and it's likely to cause his vessel some harm, but it's the best solution he has. Dean asks what he's doing, and Cas sits on the bed and takes Lucifer out of Sam. The brothers get to leave and continue the fight against the Leviathan, and Cas will stay in the psychiatric ward.

When he's not hallucinating Lucifer, Castiel looks for Jimmy. He feels like he's missing an important piece. He knows he isn't supposed to get attached like this, but he and Jimmy have had an unusual relationship. As frustrating as Jimmy sometimes is, with his stubborn refusal to admit that God exists, he's brilliant, and curious, and witty, and maybe the most perfect person Castiel has ever known. And Castiel is bitterly sorry that his vessel is lost.

Jimmy has to be somewhere. Castiel will find him. He has to.

Castiel awakens with a jolt. He's still in the hospital, and Meg is sitting watch over him. She leaves him to go make a call. He gets up, puts his coat on, and goes to stand at the window. Dean and Sam come back to see him. They seem shocked to see him awake, much less out of bed. Cas answers their questions as much as he can.

He tells the brothers about how he's seen the plan for the world, and how it is perfect. Meg rolls her eyes and tells them that Cas has been extra—crazy since he woke up. He looks over at her and says that all her pain is beautiful, and he feels a prickling resentment somewhere in the back of his mind. She tells him to shut up. Dean or Sam pulls him back on track with a reminder of what they were talking about when he woke up. He tells them that there was a piercing noise, but no one who isn't an angel would have heard it.

Sam hands an open bag to him and says that they opened it last night. Suddenly it makes so much more sense. It's a stone, etched with ancient symbols. Cas can't read them, but he recognises them. He laughs and tells the brothers, "If someone was going to free the word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two." He hugs them and says he loves them, and it makes an awkward moment.

He takes the tablet and looks at it. Dean tries to appeal to him and ask for his help again. Cas tells them that the writing on the tablet is from Metatron. Sam asks something about a 'transformer', and Dean tells him that the transformer is Megatron, not Metatron. Castiel doesn't know who Megatron is, but he does know Megatron, so he tells the brothers about the highest of the angels.

Sam wants to know what this word of God says. Cas tells them that he can't read it; it wasn't made for angels to read. Dean and Meg argue over whether or not Meg gets to see the tablet. Cas warns them that he doesn't like conflict and then transports himself to the day room, leaving the tablet to fall in his wake.

Dean finds Castiel in the day room and asks if he knows he broke the tablet. He looks unhappy, but when Cas doesn't answer, Dean takes a seat across from him. He asks if it's because Cas took Lucifer out of Sam. Cas sighs and tells Dean that he knows he wants different answers. Dean says that he just wants the angel to help them defeat the Leviathan.

Castiel sets up the board for the game Sorry! in the blink of an eye. He asks Dean if he wants to go first, and he talks as they play. Dean asks Cas if Metatron is still alive and if they can find him, and Cas 'accidentally' has to go back to start. He doesn't answer any of Dean's questions, instead telling him that the rules prevent him from profiting from someone else's despair. Dean tells him that when he tried to become God, he rewrote the rules.

Dean gets angry with Castiel's answer-avoidance tactics and shoves the entire game off the table. Cas apologises, but Dean rebuffs him and says that he's only playing the damn game. Cas is in the middle of picking up the pieces when he hears angels. He goes back to his room, and Hester and Inias stare at him, shocked. He smiles and greets them, but Hester is awfully angry about it. They talk—well, Cas talks mostly, but he doesn't get very far before Dean banishes them all.

Castiel finds Jimmy when he wakes back up. He's not sure where he is, but his vessel is in all the right places, and he's never felt more like he's home. Jimmy tells him that he never left—he can't leave his own body, he's just a human. He says that he had to hide from the Leviathan, so he pretended to not exist anymore.

Jimmy tells his angel off for a good fifteen minutes, but Cas would listen to him shout for all of time, if he could. He knows he's too attached to his vessel, but he doesn't care. If he has gained any favour with God, he knows the one thing he wants to ask. After Jimmy finishes shouting, he tells Cas that he's glad he's home.

He admits to Castiel that he thinks he might love him. He's still not sure it isn't some Stockholm syndrome thing, but he didn't like it when Cas was gone either time it happened. And he did ask to be a vessel, so he can't exactly say he was hijacked. Jimmy is sure this means he's insane.

Then Cas discloses that he's been experiencing the same sort of companionable feeling. Jimmy wonders if that means he has the... whatever the reverse version of Stockholm syndrome is. He's not a psychiatrist; he doesn't know if such a thing even exists. But if it does, it explains a lot.

Castiel tells Jimmy that they have to call the Winchesters. He calls Meg, and she tells him where they are. He finds them and meets Kevin, the prophet. Cas 'boops' Kevin's nose and asks Meg if she's hurt. It seems that while Castiel has been missing, Hester has taken charge. Cas tries to explain that he was the captain of all the angels who were supposed to look after the Earth but gets distracted by all kinds of random, useless facts.

Dean asks Cas to get to the point, and Cas asks if he's angry. Dean says he's not, and so the angel continues on with his explanation. Jimmy is going to have to remind him about their personal space conversation—again. He's lost track of how many times he's had to do this. Kevin says he's trying to go to Princeton, so he can't go to the desert. Cas tells Dean and Sam that he stopped fighting. He watches bees instead.

After they arrive at the cabin where they'll be staying, Sam and Cas paint sigils on the windows and doors to hide their presence from other angels. Cas mentions to Sam that he seems distracted, but that it's a fairly common thing so he usually doesn't mention it. Sam is concerned; he asks if Cas sees Lucifer. Cas tells him that he did, but he doesn't now. He says that picking up all of that pain from Sam turned out to be really good for him.

Sam says that they're all thankful, but then he mentions helping Cas "get better". Cas asks what that's supposed to mean. Jimmy tells his angel that it's okay; they're only trying to be supportive.

Jimmy wonders if Castiel still has a thing for Meg. He keeps trying to look out for her, and he keeps trying to slyly look at her when he thinks nobody else will notice. They let Meg out of the devil's trap, and Cas tells them all that Hester is going to be a problem. The words aren't far out of his mouth when Hester and Inias show up again. They want the prophet.

Hester tells Dean off for asking her to give them a break. She starts towards him, but Cas intervenes. Jimmy watches as his angel tries to reason with Hester and instead gets his face punched in. Meg kills her just before she stabs Cas.

Inias—well, he's much more reasonable. He wants Castiel to come back with him and rejoin the garrison, but he understands if Cas won't. After the angels take Kevin home to watch over him, Sam reads from the translation that they need the blood of a fallen angel. Castiel gives them a vial of his own before they can even ask for it. Dean accepts it and asks what Cas is going to do now. Castiel smiles and tells them, "I don't know. Isn't that amazing?"

Jimmy and Castiel just wander, for a while. Jimmy finally confronts Cas about Meg and finds out from his angel that it's actually nothing. They have a couple of run-ins with Dean that start off incredibly awkwardly and end with sex in the back of the Impala. Jimmy has decided since the first time that he's all right with his angel and the older Winchester.

He overhears Meg and Dean arguing. She says she doesn't want to deal with Castiel, and when Dean asks why, she says, "Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." Cas asks Jimmy if that's true, and Jimmy tells him that if his angel is anyone's boyfriend, he's Jimmy's. Sure, Cas may have kissed Meg and slept with Dean, but those things don't make relationships.

Dean comes outside and asks what's up. Cas starts talking about monkeys and lipstick, and Jimmy asks him to please shut up because he's heard this speech three times now. Dean invites him inside, and Cas reminds them all again that he doesn't fight. He compliments their choice of righteous bone to choose and says that he hasn't heard anything from the garrison.

Sam asks what happened, and Cas says that when he went to check on Kevin, he found the angels, dead. He tells them that Leviathan can kill angels; that's part of why they were put in Purgatory. Dean asks what happened to Kevin. Cas starts getting distracted, and Dean sharply pulls him back into focus. Cas again says he's not going to fight.

Crowley shows up again, finally. He asks Castiel why he isn't dead. Jimmy wants to step out and put the King of Hell in his place. Nobody gets to be condescending to his angel. Even Crowley thinks Cas is insane. Jimmy thinks that it's kind of fitting, his angel being the crazy one now, after Jimmy spent so much time in therapy because there was an actual angel talking to him.

Castiel brings the Winchesters sandwiches just after they prepare the holy bone. He's gotten a bit handsy with Dean. Jimmy thinks that this change is funny now that he doesn't want to murder Dean for touching his angel. The timing is especially good since they've been fighting. The brothers ask if he can't come with, and he refuses but asks Sam to accept the sandwich as a "gesture of solidarity". Sam gives him a funny look but takes the sandwich.

The Winchesters fail to take out Dick Roman—and Jimmy thinks the top Leviathan should have thought about all of the jokes you could make before he chose that guy. They're back at their safe-house talking about it, and Dean calls Cas out for acting awkwardly. Castiel says he thinks they should get a cat. Dean asks if he has anything to say about Dicks. Jimmy has to use every ounce of self-control he has to not die laughing.

Castiel refuses to answer any questions, insisting that he can't help them. He says he's wrecked everything and he'll only do it again. Dean tells Cas that he needs to clean up his mess. Instead of giving him an answer, Cas just leaves. He goes across the room and starts playing Twister by himself. Jimmy tells his angel that he should probably stop being so obstinate; he kind of does owe it to the world to set things right.

Sam and Dean burn Bobby's flask. Jimmy tries to not pay attention because he doesn't want to deal with Bobby's death. He'll think about it later, after he's done dealing with giving up his family. Dean finds him after they're done and asks for his help. He says it's fine if Cas doesn't want to get into the action; he just needs to take care of something. Cas takes them to the place where they hid the Impala, and he suddenly has a change of heart.

Castiel tells Dean that if they don't manage to destroy the Leviathan, then they will die as heroes. But Cas, he'll either die fixing the mistake he made, or he'll be brought back: It's his punishment. He's going to continue to be brought back, and it's going to be worse each time, and he's bad luck to the Winchesters. That's why he can't help them.

Dean tells Castiel that he'd rather have him there than not, even if the angel is bad luck. He reasons that neither he nor Sam is good luck. Castiel just looks at him, and his expression must change because Dean gets confused and asks what's going on. Cas suggests that Dean is possibly forgiving him, and Dean laughs and tells him that he's looking at imminent death. Cas finally says he'll go with them and asks for the plan.

Dean takes a hesitant step forward. Jimmy nudges his angel; you know the best part of fighting, right? Castiel seems confused, and Jimmy clarifies: Make-up sex, haven't you learned anything from me? Cas moves into action with a start, pulling Dean in by the jacket and kissing him. Dean doesn't move for a moment, but then it's on.

They don't actually make it into the Impala until they're sated and sore. On the drive back to the safe house, Dean keeps glancing over at Castiel as if the angel is going to disappear. Cas reaches over and lays a hand on Dean's shoulder to reassure him.

Jimmy is shocked that Dean let anybody drive his car, much less Meg, but someone's got to do the distracting. Castiel sneaks in with the Winchesters while she covers the front, and he identifies which of the fake Dick Romans is the real fake one. When they finally do find him, he's in the lab with a scientist. Jimmy still can't consider this guy without wanting to break into a fit of giggles.

Dick Roman taunts Dean and throws Castiel across the room. Dean stabs him with the dummy bone, and Dick breaks it apart. Cas gets up and sneaks back across just in time to hold Dick back so Dean can stab him with the real one. There's a huge explosion, and Castiel wakes up with Dean in Purgatory.

Jimmy wakes up, and he's staring up at himself. He's bewildered for a moment; it's like looking into a mirror, but the face staring back at him doesn't look confused and desperately needs a shave. Then he hears Castiel's voice, coming out of his reflection. "Jimmy?" His doppelganger reaches out and touches his face, his expression uncertain.

Jimmy sits up, his nose crashing into Cas's chin. "Oh, God, Cas? Is this real? How are you—am I still your vessel?" He doesn't wait for an answer. Instead, he turns his head slightly and kisses Cas. He doesn't care that for all anyone can tell, he's kissing his twin. Castiel is here, and he's real, and he's apparently learned a lot while Jimmy wasn't looking because the thing he's doing with his tongue is delicious.

Castiel leans back, his eyes wide. "I found God," he says simply.

Jimmy eyes him suspiciously. "You found... God," he echoes. "And now you're me, but not me. That seems unlikely." He's wary of this claim of God, especially after all of the calamity that has followed any other time God has been brought up.

Castiel shakes his head and leans forward again, kissing a line down Jimmy's neck. "I petitioned him to reward you for your service. He relented, so I asked for this on your behalf." His teeth scrape against Jimmy's skin as he speaks. Jimmy shivers and pushes as his angel's shirt. Cas turns his head to look up at Jimmy. "Are you okay?"

"Jesus Christ, yes, can we go somewhere a little more... indoors?" Jimmy gasps. "There's a rock in my back."

They find a room and stumble inside, tearing at each other's clothes. Jimmy pushes Cas back on the bed, pulling at his tie and wedging his knee between Castiel's legs. Castiel makes a soft noise and grabs alternately at Jimmy's shirt and the sheets. Jimmy smiles and kisses down Castiel's neck. Cas moves to sit up, and Jimmy bites at his neck. He's not sure if Cas is going to like that or not; it's different to consider these things, since they're not in the same body any more.

Given the way Castiel groans and rolls up against him, Jimmy guesses that he likes it. He takes his time with his angel, as much as he can stand. He's not very patient now; he's been waiting over five years for this. After a stern warning to his angel to not vanish anything off somewhere, Jimmy divests them of their clothes. Everything is so familiar but so different all at once.

Jimmy tries to remember what Dean did during sex that Castiel had liked the best, but whatever those things were, they're not coming to mind. So he settles for searching all over again, soft touches of fingers and lips turning sharper when they find sensitive skin. Jimmy likes hearing his name bubble up on Castiel's lips, his angel's voice breathless and rough. He feels a pang of guilt over Amelia: he has a feeling that Cas's responses might be coloured by Jimmy's memories of his wife.

Cas seems to notice without any cues: He pats Jimmy's face and makes soothing sounds, kisses his forehead and lips. The pain subsides, and Jimmy becomes aware of Cas doing some very interesting things. His angel has to have been watching porn when Jimmy wasn't paying attention because he's pretty sure neither he nor Dean has ever...

That thought, along with most of the rest of them, goes as soon as Castiel's mouth is on Jimmy's dick. It's an embarrassingly short time before Jimmy is panting and trying to warn Cas before he comes, but Cas either doesn't notice or doesn't care. He pulls off and kisses around Jimmy's now-over-sensitive skin, teasing with his fingertips and tongue and teeth.

Jimmy tries to bite back an embarrassingly high-pitched noise as his angel turns him over and nips at his thigh. He's sure he's going to have bruises he'll feel for days. Cas changes tactics, and everything turns into gentler touches until Jimmy feels something soft and wet circle his hole, and fire races through his body. It hits him that this is about to go much further than he's ever been with anyone, and he vaguely thinks that the realisation should maybe bother him, but it doesn't.

Castiel fucks Jimmy with his tongue and stretches him out, fingers teasing his prostate experimentally. Jimmy's cock twitches in response, and he mutters, "Fuck, Castiel... !" Cas laughs, and Jimmy feels it to his core.

What astounds Jimmy more than anything else is that Castiel seems to be genuinely enjoying himself. All of the attention lovingly poured into this one act, and Cas hasn't even touched himself. Jimmy opens his mouth to say something, but Castiel pulls away, plants a soft kiss on his back. Jimmy feels open and empty and whines his displeasure.

Castiel turns Jimmy onto his back again and presses a finger to his lips, using his other hand to slick himself up. He holds onto Jimmy's hips, lines himself up, and pushes in. Jimmy bites his lip to hold back the litany of curses that threatens to spill forth, and focuses on his angel so he'll never forget this moment. Castiel, with his messy hair and blown pupils, the flush rising up his body, is so perfect, so beautiful, it makes Jimmy's heart soar.

Castiel fills him up, the head of his cock brushing Jimmy's prostate, and Jimmy marvels at how right this is, feeling like he's going to burst at the seams. He lifts his hips to meet Cas's thrusts, cries out as his angel's fingers make bruises.

He's hard again, every motion building up pressure until he feels like he's going to explode. Castiel hits his prostate again, and the sensation of it all is overwhelming. Jimmy comes again, clenching around his angel, his semen splattering their bellies. Cas rides Jimmy's orgasm out and then empties himself into his once-vessel, murmuring in Enochian.

Castiel neatly collapses onto Jimmy, and Jimmy's arms immediately encircle his angel, pulling him closer. Jimmy kisses Cas's hair and his temple, and briefly sucks on his bottom lip, now swollen and bright red from being bitten.

They lie together for a few minutes, and then Castiel moves, trails kisses down Jimmy's side. He spreads Jimmy open again, licking himself out of his vessel like he's never wanted to do anything more in his life.

Jimmy is acutely aware of each stroke of his angel's tongue, his nerve endings still over-sensitised. He moans softly when Cas moves on, pressing gentle kisses into the nearly-black marks on his hips.

Jimmy doesn't know what he's done to deserve a lover so attentive, but he isn't going to question his luck.

He idly suggests they shower, and washes his angel head to toe in the warm water. He stays on his knees to tease Castiel hard again and takes him in as much as he can, tilting his head as Cas's hips stutter forward. It's been a long time since he's done this, and half-drunk fraternity brothers are nothing to his angel, but he still remembers his best tricks. He changes his angle until he can take Castiel's dick in its entirety, swallowing around it and looking up at his angel through his eyelashes.

Castiel's fingers tangle in Jimmy's hair, and he fucks his vessel's face with abandon. Jimmy holds onto Cas's legs, teases his angel with his tongue and teeth. With little warning, Castiel thrusts deep into Jimmy's throat and comes, holding tightly onto his vessel to stay standing.

Jimmy swallows through Cas's aftershocks and eases his angel down to his knees. They stay there for a few more minutes and finish cleaning up. Jimmy licks his way into Castiel's mouth and pulls him back to the bedroom. They fall into the sheets in a tangle of limbs.


Jimmy has never been one much for snuggling, but here he is, attached to his angel's side. They idly watch whatever late-night shows are on the television, and he asks Castiel what happened more specifically.

Castiel explains that he and Dean were in Purgatory, but they had to split up. He says Dean escaped, but he won't say how. He doesn't know where Dean is, either, but he can't search forever. He's mostly human now; it's completely impractical to try. Cas isn't even sure how he got out, but he doesn't want to question it. He's been in trouble enough times for questioning authority, and he'd like to avoid any further punishment.

Jimmy tells his angel to be quiet and just enjoy the moment. He's sure they'll find the Winchesters one day, and the shenanigans will pick up practically where they left off. But until then, he's going to hold on to everything they get.

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