Log in

No account? Create an account
us them archive about previous previous next next
No Gods, No Kings... Only Man, part 2/4 - Dex
No Gods, No Kings... Only Man, part 2/4
no gods no kings only man banner

Title: No Gods, No Kings... Only Man
Author: dextrosinistral (frankie_felony)
Artist(s): ammo and h4ppy_fun_b4ll
Beta: wellworld
Rating Mature
Word count: ~30,900
Characters/pairings: Castiel/Jimmy, Dean/Castiel/Jimmy, Jimmy/Amelia, hints of assumedly one-sided Gabriel/Castiel, hints of Castiel/Meg, hints of Crowley/Castiel
Warnings: Canon violence; rude nicknaming; possible Stockholm and Lima syndromes; abandonment issues; depression; symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia; symptoms of dissociative identity disorder; self-inflicted damage
Fic masterpost: here
See master post/part I for summary and notes
There's a long period where Jimmy doesn't know or care what's going on with Castiel or the Winchesters. It's still Castiel's fault that his wife was possessed and that his family was almost killed. Becoming Castiel's vessel again means that they'll be safe, though, and that's worth more than anything anyone could offer him. He grieves for Amelia, for Claire, for everything he left behind. It would have been better to have never asked to become a vessel to disprove the existence of God. But here he is.

He suddenly becomes aware of Gabriel when Castiel is banished and then brought back to wherever the Winchesters are. Castiel finds the brothers and tries to get them out of what appears to be a game show of some kind, but Gabriel banishes him. Jimmy is really, really sick of being banished. He says as much to Cas, and adds, Have I mentioned it before? Because it's terrible. Castiel wonders who "Dr Sexy" is, and why Dean thinks he's so hot. Jimmy is just glad that Dean's attention is elsewhere for the time being.

Castiel finds them again at some hotel set, and tries to warn the brothers about what's going on, but Gabriel shows up. With a flick of his wrist, he throws Cas into the wall and tapes his mouth shut. Castiel glares at him, and Jimmy starts to sense that Cas is not entirely upset with this turn of events. Before they can say or do anything, Gabriel banishes him again. Jimmy could really do without this banishing bullshit.

Gabriel brings Castiel back. Dean asks if Cas is all right, and Cas says he is. Then he levels his stare at Gabriel and calls him by name. Gabriel says, "Hey, bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess: Awful." Castiel doesn't respond. He has nothing to say, and the Winchesters have Gabriel caught in a circle of holy fire. After arguing with the trapped angel for a few minutes, they leave Gabriel behind. Sam sets off the fire extinguishers to let him out of the holy oil fire. Damn, those boys really love that stuff, don't they?

Castiel wants to get with Gabriel. Jimmy has a hunch about it, but it's confirmed when Cas tells him they need to find somewhere private to stop. Jimmy starts to ask why, but Castiel already has their trousers undone. And damn, where did Cas learn the thing he's doing? Jimmy doesn't remember anyone ever doing that to him before, but he needs to remember that for later. He forgets what it is as soon as he comes. All he can think of is Castiel and his Batman voice. For a moment, Jimmy sees Gabriel's smirking face. It hits him that he's just seen into Castiel's unguarded mind, and suddenly Jimmy feels like he's intruding into something he shouldn't be witnessing.

He honestly can't blame Cas, though. Jimmy doesn't consider himself even the slightest bit bi-curious, but he has serious respect for Gabriel and what he does. Secretly, Jimmy thinks he might get on better with Gabriel as his angel than with Cas, but it's not like he can trade angels or anything.

He tries not to think about what his thing for Castiel is, what it would mean for Jimmy's usual blue-blooded, heterosexual masculinity thing. Castiel is a class of his own, Jimmy supposes. Or this is, like, Stockholm Syndrome or something. Jimmy still doesn't want to think about it.

Castiel finds Crowley, a crossroads demon. He follows Crowley against Jimmy's advice and they find a house protected by weird-looking symbols. Castiel calls Dean with this news, and the Winchesters recruit Ellen and Jo Harvelle to help them. They manage to get into the house and when they all meet up later, Dean shares that Crowley just handed the Colt over and told them where Lucifer is. Jimmy thinks that sounds weird. They start drinking, and Bobby wants to take a picture of everybody. Jimmy is drunk. He knows Cas doesn't feel the liquor much, but Jimmy is only human, and he usually had maybe half a glass of wine with dinner before he became a vessel, and Cas drank a lot. If Jimmy didn't have Cas in his body too, he'd probably be passed out on the floor right now. Or dead. Maybe dead. He doesn't actually know how many shots they've done, but he lost count after about 25.

Jimmy is nursing a killer hangover when he realises that Castiel has gotten them trapped in a ring of holy oil fire. He wants to yell at Cas that this is what they get for trapping Raphael in holy oil, but Cas tells him that Raphael isn't the one who caught him: Lucifer is. Jimmy swears, and Castiel reprimands him for it. Lucifer shows up and walks around the burning circle, saying weird shit to Castiel and calling him "peculiar". Lucifer leaves Meg to baby-sit Cas in the burning circle, but Cas manages to knock her into the fire and uses that as his escape. Then he saves the Winchesters again.

Jimmy is impressed. It's getting out of hand. He doesn't know how well it bodes that he's got these feelings for an angel who possessed him. Stockholm syndrome, he reminds himself. He needs to stop, and besides, he's still at least sort of married. He's pretty sure that Amelia would have started dating someone else by now, since he's officially dead now.

Jimmy learns the hard way just how disorienting time travel is. He feels like he's just been jumped by half a dozen huge guys or something. He's not sure where—or when—they are, but then Dean and Sam show up. Castiel tells them that he's fine, and yes, he knows he's bleeding from the head but he's fine. The next thing Jimmy knows, they're back in the year they're supposed to be in again, but he still feels awful.

After the time-travel incident, Jimmy asks Cas if they can just take a holiday to recuperate. It's obvious that they both need a respite of some sort. Castiel, naturally, declines because the Apocalypse is still on. Jimmy had almost forgotten about that. Of course they still have to stop the Apocalypse. They're never going to catch a break, are they?

Jimmy is hungry. Castiel doesn't really feed them; he doesn't need to eat, and even though Jimmy gets tired or hungry sometimes, not so noticeable as long as Cas is around. He doesn't want to think about how ravenous he was when he and Castiel were on a break. Castiel asks if that's what they have to call their temporary separation, and Jimmy tells him, emphatically, yes, and is Dean going to eat that burger? Castiel asks Dean, but before he can eat any of it, Cupid arrives.

Cupid is really weird, even for an angel. He gets all emotional and hugs them all too many times and says that he's not the one who killed all those people. Cas chides Jimmy and tells him that Cupid isn't a standard angel, he's a cherub. They're different. Cherubs are a little stupid, Cas informs Jimmy, and Jimmy asks if that isn't a rude assumption to make. Castiel says that humans are stupid, too, and Jimmy really shouldn't take it personally that Cherubs aren't the brightest crayons in the box.

Jimmy has this awful craving for a bacon cheeseburger, and the weird thing is, Cas notices. They eat about two dozen delicious bacon cheeseburgers before they have to go find Sam and Dean again. The brothers seem surprised to see Castiel stuffing his face. Jimmy waits for the explanation, too; even he isn't quite sure what's going on.

Castiel says, "It's my vessel," which annoys Jimmy. After all this time, he's still just a vessel? They've been sharing a body for almost three years, and for the past several months they've been doing this quasi sex thing—Jimmy still doesn't really know what to call it—and now he's just a vessel? They're not even friends by now? But Castiel explains that because of this horseman, because of Famine, he's really noticing that Jimmy hasn't eaten in an incredibly long time, and he's starving.

Well, that explains a lot.

Dean and Castiel look for Famine, and Cas keeps eating the delicious hamburgers. Jimmy notices that Dean is shifting uncomfortably because Castiel keeps making these hugely inappropriate noises while eating. They finally find Famine, but the horseman has left out an astonishing amount of raw ground beef. Castiel gets distracted, despite having declared earlier that "I can stop any time I want", and Sam has to come save the day again.

Castiel asks if Jimmy is ever going to let him live that down. Jimmy says absolutely not.

They find out that God isn't going to intervene to stop the Apocalypse. Castiel doesn't want to believe it for a moment, and then he returns Dean's amulet because there's no point in finding God now. Jimmy wants to comfort Cas, but he's not sure how to because he's still sure that God doesn't exist in the first place.

Jimmy is pretty sure he's dead. There's no way he isn't. Castiel just drank probably fifteen times Jimmy's volume in booze. No, it has to be more than that. What's the approximate volume of booze that liquor stores carry anyway? Somehow, they make it to the Winchesters' motel, and Castiel tells Sam that his voice is grating. Sam asks if Cas is smashed, and of course, Cas denies it. Then he says yes, and, "I found a liquor store." He gets an appraising look for his admission and then tells Sam, "I drank it!" Like Sam shouldn't think that it's some big thing that he wanted to get shitfaced because God isn't going to help them. When Sam asks if he's okay, Castiel tells him to shut up and not ask stupid questions.

Dean comes back to the room and asks Cas where the hell he's been. Cas gives him a sharp look and says, "On a bender!"

Castiel tells the brothers that the prophet in this town isn't a prophet. He knows them all by name, and she's definitely not one of them. Dean asks what she is, then, and Castiel says that she's the Whore. He means that she's the Whore of Babylon, Jimmy figures, but he's kind of too drunk to get that far. Dean says, "Wow, Cas, why don't you tell us what you really think?"

Castiel manages to play it off like he doesn't know what Dean is on about. He tells them about the Whore of Babylon and what she does. They ask about the demons—working for her—and then about the Enochian incantation that the townspeople have been using. Cas tells them it's fake and says, "It actually means, 'You, uh, breed with the mouth of a goat.'" He has a wee laugh and the moose and the jerk exchange looks like they don't know what's going on, and Cas says, "It's funnier in Enochian." Jimmy doesn't really believe him; then again, every angel he's met who isn't Cas or Gabriel really has a stick up their ass or is that one fallen angel, Anna.

Cas gets them the appropriate weapon to kill the whore, but none of them are 'true servants of God' like they have to be to carry out the execution. He gets the pastor of the church group, and they explain that he is the one for this task. Dean later brings Cas a bottle of aspirin and tries to give him another deadbeat dad pep talk. Jimmy has half a mind to scoff at it, but Castiel seems comforted.

They almost have her, and she manages to take Cas out with some, Jimmy guesses, Enochian spell, and he doesn't know if she gets killed or not until they're making their escape. Sam asks Dean how he killed her if none of them were supposed to be true servants, and Dean shrugs it off like it's nothing. He denies that he's considering becoming Michael's vessel, but Jimmy can smell the bullshit.

He tells Castiel that Dean is hiding something, so Cas teams up with Sam to get Dean to Bobby's place. It works long enough for Cas to be pulled away for something—and Jimmy still hates it when they do that weird spatial-travel thing, it's not very comfortable—and he comes back with a kid who is apparently Sam and Dean's brother. There's some arguing about whether this is actually going to work or not, and it results in Dean getting put in Bobby's steel-trap panic room.

Sam and Cas stop by the panic room to see Dean. Castiel and Dean look at each other for a long moment before Dean says, "Not for nothing, but last person that looked at me like that? I got laid." Jimmy takes stock of what his expression felt like and has to concede that it probably was almost a smouldering, come-hither sort of look. He's pretty sure that the last time he looked at someone like that, he got laid.

He leaves the boys to have a heart-to-heart talk and goes to watch out after Adam. Dean figures out how to trick Cas so he can escape. Goddammit, Jimmy hates being banished. Castiel starts to comment on that but stops himself and settles for just feeling annoyed.

Castiel finds Dean and knocks out the preacher who was praying to bring Zachariah and the other angels around. He drags Dean into an alley and starts beating the hell out of him, shouting, "I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?" Dean starts to beg him to stop, and Castiel cuts him off. "I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me?" Jimmy barely convinces Cas to stop and take Dean back to Bobby's.

It's a huge mess. By the time they get back, Adam is gone. Sam asks what happened to Dean, and Castiel says, "Me." They get Dean back in the panic room and handcuff him to the bed so he won't escape again until they can figure out a plan. Castiel takes them to an abandoned warehouse where the Green Room is and tells them what to do. The brothers are momentarily confused because the plan sounds terrible – and, well, it is. The whole thing ends with Castiel banishing a bunch of angels, including himself.

When Jimmy wakes up, he's in a hospital. He doesn't know where he is, but he has a feeling he's maybe in a psych ward somewhere, the lie he told Amelia after Cas left him the first time come true. He tries calling out to Cas, and Cas grumpily answers him that he can't transport them anywhere, that they are effectively a human with multiple personalities. Jimmy warns him to not say that too loud, or they'll never be able to stop the Apocalypse.

The doctors are amazed that Castiel is awake: They thought he was brain-dead. Castiel calls Dean and tells him everything that's happened, that he needs money so he can get out of the hospital and come to them, and that he's sorry for losing his faith in Dean. Jimmy thinks Castiel's apology is just weird, something about Dean being a burnt and broken shell of something, and that's not how apologies are supposed to go. In any case, it seems to work, because Castiel gets some money and gets on his way to finding the Winchesters.

Pestilence: the most disgusting horseman of the Apocalypse. Jimmy thought Famine was bad, but damn. Jimmy is too squeamish for anything involved in the medical profession, so having to get rid of this horseman is close to the worst thing he's ever heard of doing. There's so much blood and sick, and Jimmy doesn't think he can handle it. It probably doesn't help that he's kind of upset that he managed to miss the boys getting after War.

Pestilence seems perplexed with Castiel, amused even. He mocks Castiel for being an 'occupied vessel', but without the powers of an angel. Castiel grabs the knife the boys had and cuts Pestilence's finger off. Jimmy is proud of them for not fainting at the sight of all that blood.

They get back to Bobby's place to discuss what needs to happen next, and Bobby tells them that Death is going to be in Chicago. Before they can fully formulate a plan for everything, Crowley appears. Jimmy thinks if that guy wasn't a demon, he'd be pretty all right. Castiel tells him to keep those thoughts to himself.

Castiel is annoyed because he thinks he's useless. He doesn't see the point of a shotgun. Why should he? But he helps pack the van, and Crowley brings Dean a sickle that he alleges belongs to Death. Castiel doesn't know whether he should believe that or not, but Crowley hand-waves it with the fact that he's currently in charge of the crossroads demons.

Castiel goes with Sam and Bobby to take care of the facility with the Croatoan virus 'vaccine' while Dean hunts for Death. Jimmy wishes they could be a fly on the wall for Dean's interaction with Death. During the scuffle in the facility, Castiel shoots and kills one of the infected people – with a headshot, no less. He makes a soft 'hmm' sound and comments that hey, shotguns can be useful.

Dean reports back that Death just gave him the ring, with a few conditions. And that Death can apparently reap God. Jimmy is duly impressed. He'd always liked the stories of the horsemen of the Apocalypse, even through the questioning and loss of his beliefs. It had always been a toss—up between War and Death who was the coolest, and, well, Jimmy missed out on War. He tells his inner twelve-year-old that adults don't really say 'cool', and especially not about the four horsemen.

Castiel asks Jimmy if this is what it's like, being human. Jimmy says that he doesn't know, since he doesn't really know what it's like to be an angel. But they should go ahead and get on with the plan to stop the Apocalypse. Dean has finally decided to support Sam in his plan, even if it isn't necessarily the best plan and even if he isn't particularly happy about it.

Jimmy starts worrying about Castiel when they pass out in the back seat of the Impala. Well, when Cas does: Jimmy is still aware of their body. They arrive in Detroit for Sam to become Lucifer's vessel and put him in the cage. Cas watches Bobby say good-bye to Sam, and then Sam comes over to him and offers a hand and asks him to take care of Bobby and Dean. Castiel looks Sam dead in the eye and says, "That's not possible." Sam scoffs a little and Cas realises, "Oh. I was supposed to lie. Sure, they'll be fine—" And Sam asks him to shut up.

Sam drinks all the demon blood in preparation to accept Lucifer. For a moment, Jimmy wants to say he'll pray for Sam, but he can't do that. So he stands by Bobby and watches the Winchesters go up to meet Lucifer. He's not sure what's happening, but it takes longer than he thinks it's supposed to. But a bright light fills the upper levels of the building, so Jimmy guesses that the plan worked – at least, part of it did.

Dean tells them that the plan did not work out how they'd hoped. They're walking past an electronics store where the news is relaying information about tidal waves and earthquakes all over the world, and Castiel says that it's starting. Dean scoffs at that and asks what he suggests they do. Castiel shrugs and suggests they drink themselves half to death and just wait. Dean says, "Yeah, thanks, Bukowski," and Jimmy giggles. These catastrophic events are making him feel weird, like he's drunk or something. Bobby says there wasn't much in the way of hope from the start. Dean argues that point with him, and they get nothing accomplished.

Castiel and Bobby catch Dean about to leave in the middle of the night. They try to talk him out of attempting to go talk to Sam, but that doesn't work out so well. Dean finishes tossing everything into his car and gets in. He's determined to get to Lawrence, to not make Sammy die alone on the battlefield. All Castiel can think about is that Dean almost said yes to Michael. He's not sure he can handle the thought of seeing Sam and Dean fighting each other in an angelic duel to the death.

Castiel and Bobby show up before much happens. Castiel embarrasses Jimmy more than he has any time so far by shouting, "Hey! Ass-butt!" He makes up for it by throwing a holy oil Molotov cocktail at Michael.

Jimmy laughs so hard he's sure he'd be crying if he was the only one in his body, and tells Cas that he should have said 'asshole' or 'ass-wipe', or maybe even 'douchebag'. Castiel just seems confused by the options, so Jimmy relents and tells him that 'ass-butt' was fine, but he shouldn't say it again.

Dean watches, shocked, and, just as Jimmy did, says, "'Ass-butt'?" Castiel halfway shrugs and says that Michael will be back and angry, but Dean has five minutes. Sam—no, Lucifer, tells Castiel that nobody messes with his brother but Lucifer. And then Jimmy feels himself torn apart again, bloody, worse than when Raphael killed Castiel almost a year ago.

Jimmy has just enough time to swear at everyone and everything before all he knows is nothing.

Lucifer and Michael are gone when Castiel makes it back to the field. Jimmy is disoriented. He can still remember being pulled apart, but he's whole. All of his pieces are where they're supposed to be. Dean seems shocked that Cas is alive. Cas says he's better than just alive and heals Dean with a touch to his head. Dean stares up at him for a long moment and stands, asking, "Cas, are you God?"

Jimmy scoffs at the suggestion. No, Castiel isn't God—nobody is. Cas smiles, though. "That's a nice compliment, but no. Though, I do believe he brought me back." He turns and heads towards Bobby, and Jimmy says, "New and improved." He's shocked to hear the words actually come out of their mouth. Castiel heals Bobby, and they get on their way home. Or, well, to whatever home they make.

Dean asks Cas what he's going to do now. Castiel shrugs, considers it for a moment, and says he's going to go back to Heaven. Dean scoffs at that. Castiel points out that everything has probably gone to shit since Michael is in the cage now. Dean laughs at that, says something about Cas being the new sheriff in town. Jimmy thinks that has a nice ring to it. Castiel says, "I like that. I suppose I am."

Dean makes a crack about Cas getting a 'brand-new, shiny set of wings' and suddenly he's God's bitch again. Castiel says he doesn't know what God is doing, and Dean scoffs. He goes on a small tirade about how it's easy for Cas to have faith in God, since he got brought back, but Dean has nothing. His brother's gone, he got nothing. What is he supposed to do now?

Castiel says, "You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise, no Hell. Just more of the same." Dean says nothing. Castiel raises an eyebrow at him. "I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have: Peace or freedom?"

Castiel takes about a week 'off' after they leave Dean. He and Jimmy don't do anything special; they just find a deserted beach and sit. Every time Castiel's thoughts begin to wander towards the Winchesters or the Apocalypse, Jimmy herds him back towards less emotional things. Like how warm the sun is, or how blue the water looks when there's nothing to see for miles. Jimmy will even take Castiel having inappropriate thoughts about Gabriel over him getting weepy over the Winchester family. And Jimmy really doesn't want to know any more about what Castiel thinks of Gabriel.

In turn, Castiel keeps Jimmy from dwelling too much on the loss of his family. He knows how profoundly it hurts, but he doesn't know what to tell Jimmy to help it hurt less. He's not very good at being human. He's not supposed to be, but he still hopes that perhaps eventually, Jimmy will have shown him enough to teach him something. When he mentions this, Jimmy chuckles and tells him, I think I already have, if you're telling me that you want to learn from the terrible example I am.

They talk. Jimmy has a hell of a time coming up with good questions for Castiel, since he's not even sure what angels do when they're not baby-sitting two overgrown children or averting the end of the world. Castiel seems equally confused. Jimmy supposes that selling ad time for AM radio isn't very exciting, either. So, instead, they work to find topics they can both discuss that aren't the Apocalypse, the Winchesters, or Jimmy's family.

It's funny, getting to know Castiel once the world isn’t ending. Jimmy has been thinking of him as a bit of an oddball, terrible at relating to anyone but competent with whatever his task at hand is. He's coming to see his angel as kind, compassionate, driven by a deep, unconditional love for his brothers and sisters and humanity as a whole. It makes Jimmy wish that he had taken more time to ensure that the people he loved knew it. Castiel tells him not to worry about that: You made a great sacrifice for your family. No one will forget that.

They sit back and watch the dust settle. Jimmy has a fleeting thought that he could stay here for the rest of eternity, and he would be happy as long as Cas is here with him. Castiel mentally nudges him, politely letting him know that while he doesn't mind the wandering off into his thoughts, he just wants to know that Jimmy doesn't go too far or into depressing avenues.

It's hard not to fall in love with him when everything is like this.


Jimmy asks Castiel about his ex-vessels, or if he's even had any. He wants to know what his angel did before he came into Jimmy's life. Castiel seems to think it's disrespectful for Jimmy to assume that he's never had a vessel. Jimmy tells Cas he's not judging him, he's just curious. Cas says he's much older than he looks.

Castiel tells him about some of the far-flung angelic history. He talks about how things were when everybody got on, but then God made people, and Lucifer didn't respect them like God wanted all of the angels to. The arguments got so bad that Gabriel left. Castiel says that before the Winchesters found Gabriel—well, the time it happened after Cas met them—he hadn't seen Gabriel in eons.

Cas says that Jimmy probably knows the rest of that story—Lucifer gets thrown out of Heaven, he gets even more upset, and he makes Lilith, the first demon. And that's when God put him in the Cage.

Jimmy abruptly tells Cas that he's sorry about Gabriel. He wishes that he could do something; he knows how Cas felt about his brother. It's a little weird, but they're angels, and Jimmy guesses that relationships work a little differently among them than they do among humans. Castiel says that he will deal with his grief in his own way, and Jimmy need not concern himself with it.

Jimmy is back to the 'I just want you to be happy' phase of everything. He likes it better than being a grumpy old married couple. He must be thinking too loudly because Castiel abruptly asks him if they don't have to have a ceremony or sign some papers in order to be married, and while Cas has been around for longer than the Earth, Jimmy is still quite young. Jimmy tells Cas that it's just a metaphor, it doesn't actually mean that they're married. Great, and now they’re right back to 'grumpy old married couple'.

He cautiously asks Castiel to tell him more about before, but to skip the parts that Jimmy already knows. Cas sighs dramatically—seriously? Of all the things he could have learned from Jimmy, and it's to lay heavy on the sarcasm?—and obliges.

Castiel talks about when the Earth was young and a time he stood on a beach with one of his brothers and they watched a very special little fish pitch itself up out of the water. He tells Jimmy about Cain and Abel, and the Tower of Babel – not particularly tall. Also not very sturdy, but what did they really expect, making bricks out of shit? Cas chronicles the stories of David and Goliath, Sodom and Gomorrah, Joseph's lucky rise to power in Egypt; he discusses earthquakes and floods and the evolution of society. He tells Jimmy about the Nephilim.

And it turns out that there have been a lot of Apocalypse-like events. No actual Apocalypses, until the one that Sam and Dean didn't manage to avert, but the sort of thing that home and car insurance companies call 'acts of God'. Huge, destructive storms. Floods wiping out entire civilisations. Jimmy concludes that if God actually exists, he's a giant dick. Castiel doesn't correct him, for once.

They're sitting in Castiel's favourite Heaven when he points out the irony that Jimmy is still an atheist despite everything he's seen now. Add to that the fact that Jimmy has twice asked to be a vessel and that twice they've been torn apart and put back together, and it seems odd that he hasn't changed his mind. Jimmy tells him that for all they both know, Jimmy could be locked away in a padded room somewhere, wearing white scrubs and being given pills three times a day so he doesn't go into a psychotic rage. Seeing demons and other angels and even heaven? That's not incontrovertible proof of the existence of God. In fact, it's a better argument for insanity than anything else.

With as long as they've had trouble even finding the guy, Jimmy just can't believe it. He can accept the existence of a lot of things, but he's nowhere near sold on the idea of God. Castiel may be concerned about it, but the other angels weren't—and maybe still aren't, and that's enough doubt for Jimmy to remain at least mostly certain. He's seen enough evidence to support the existence of angels, but that doesn't mean that there's a God. Demons, werewolves, spectres, ghosts, vampires, all that shit? Sure. The 'pagan gods'—well, basically the god for any religion but the major five of the world? He's not quite as sure about those, but they seem plausible, after all he's seen. The Christian God? Hell, no. Not Buddha or Allah or any other modern god, either. There's nothing to support the idea.

Jimmy refuses to call the ideas of various gods 'theories' because theories have scientific evidence backing them up. Religion doesn't.

Castiel asks him to stop with his rambling for five minutes. They have work to do, and they don't need to be distracted by questions of whether or not any or all or none of the various gods—the one Castiel works for included—exist. Jimmy quiets down, mostly because he's curious to see what's going to happen now. He still wonders what would happen if he and Castiel had different bodies, but he doesn't think it's appropriate to ask about that while Cas is trying to regroup with the angels to rebuild Heaven.

The angels are shocked and amazed to find out that Cas is still around. Castiel says he came back, and the Winchesters should get all the credit. Rachel says that's unlikely and points out that they defeated the archangels. God must have brought Cas back, so he could lead them! Cas tells her that nobody is leading them: They can make their own choices now.

She presses, wants to know what God requires. Castiel says he wants them to be free, and she asks what they're supposed to do with their freedom. Jimmy tells Cas, "Freedom is a length of rope. God—if he exists—probably wants you to hang yourself with it." Castiel doesn't understand, and he never quite answers Rachel's question.

It's amazing how hard it is for angels to grasp the concept of freedom. Apparently Raphael notices, too, because he calls Cas to come visit for a chat and says that he's going to have a full assembly, and all of the angels have to be there and commit to Raphael. Jimmy says, "Are you joking?" and somehow, even in Heaven, it comes out of Castiel's mouth. Raphael asks Cas if it looks like he is, and Castiel mutters, "You never look like you're joking."

Raphael tells Castiel that because he defied God and everyone up here, he's got to make up for it. Resuming the Apocalypse will be a great place to get started. They argue over whether the Apocalypse even needs to happen, how anyone knows what God's will is, and if angels are even capable of free will. Castiel thinks so—he's capable—but Raphael disagrees. Jimmy thinks they're both wrong, on some level: angels likely have a modicum of free will, but it's unlikely that there is a "God's plan" or "God's will". He doesn't get to say his piece. Just to prove some point, Raphael kicks Castiel's ass and leaves him in his favourite heaven.

Castiel knows he'll lose this fight, especially right now. He goes with the intention of asking Dean for help, but he can't bring himself to do it. After all Dean has done, Cas can't ask him to sacrifice even more. While he's contemplating, Crowley appears to make a proposition. Crowley says he wants to do some mutually-beneficial business.

Cas laughs at Crowley. "You want to make a deal? With me? I'm an angel, you ass. I don't have a soul to sell." Crowley says something about that being the point, Raphael's head on a pike, and happy endings—yes, the double—entendre kind. Castiel doesn't want to hear it, but Crowley convinces him to listen for just a few minutes.

Jimmy tries to warn Castiel to not do this: demons will do anything to fuck anyone and everyone else over. Or has Cas forgotten that? But Castiel thinks he's smarter than Crowley. He tells Jimmy not to worry; he's only going to listen. Crowley takes him down to Hell, which seems to be a never-ending queue. Jimmy is confused: Isn't Hell supposed to be all fire and brimstone and torture and—oh wait; now it makes sense.

Crowley asks Cas something about what his plan is and suggests that Cas resist. Castiel says that he can't and Crowley knows it. Crowley tells Cas that he could get a lot of support in Heaven, God likes him a lot, and he's got charisma, sex appeal. Cas thanks him, but he wants to know what point Crowley is trying to make.

Jimmy loses his shit when Crowley suggests starting a civil war. Castiel does, too, but his interest is piqued when Crowley mentions Purgatory. It's a hard sell; Cas isn't about to ask Dean to start hunting again. King of Hell says, no worries, he'll just put Samuel Campbell into play. It's a simple plan, really: The hunters get the monsters; the monsters get them Purgatory, no problem.

When Castiel asks what the price is, Jimmy knows it's too late to try to reason with him. Crowley wants half the souls in Purgatory, and Cas unsuccessfully tries to haggle. Crowley tells him that those souls will help him secure his position as King of Hell, and it would be better for him to stay in charge. They argue more about how long this idea is going to take, and Crowley pitches Cas 50,000 souls. It's either that or the Apocalypse. And didn't God choose Cas to save everyone?

Jimmy doesn't think that's how it happened, but he's given up trying to argue. Nothing he can say is going to convince his angel that 'God' didn't choose them for anything because things that don't exist can't make choices. So he doesn't say anything. Castiel takes the souls, and with them gets a leg up in his fight with Raphael. Unfortunately, he also starts a civil war, even though Jimmy tried to warn him against it. He's taking this sibling-rivalry thing way too far.

The next time they see the Winchesters, Sam loses his shit about having prayed for Cas to show up for the past year, and does an impression of Castiel's voice, which Jimmy thinks is pretty hilarious. Cas seems mostly unfazed; Jimmy isn't sure that he actually knows what's going on. Sam asks if Cas is fonder of Dean, if that's what it is. Castiel says that he has a deeper bond with Dean than Sam, but that he wasn't going to bring it up. Sam scowls at him for that.

Dean interrupts before they can get into a fight and says that Sam took one for the team, and now he's back and they don't know why. He says that the least Cas could do is give them five minutes and a few answers. Castiel says he doesn't have any answers, or he would have given them to the boys. Dean tries to tell Cas that he has to show up if Sam calls, but Castiel gives him a look that shuts him up.

He says that he didn't find them because Dean asked him to come. The deaths the brothers are investigating, they were from the Staff of Moses. A bunch of weapons have been stolen in the wake of the Apocalypse, and the angels need to find them. Cas looks at Sam and Dean and asks for their help. They scoff and act like it's some huge problem for Cas to suggest that they should help him.

Castiel looks at them and says, "My 'people skills' are a bit 'rusty'. Pardon me, but I have spent the past 'year' as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. Believe me; you do not want that weapon down here." He does air quotes and everything. Jimmy is so proud. His angel is beginning to grasp sarcasm.

They find a boy who has a piece of the staff and says that he sold his soul—to an angel—for it. Jimmy wants to shake the stupid out of the boy: Why would you sell your soul for a shit piece of wood that might not even do what it says on the box? That's the stupidest thing he's ever heard in his life. And how do you sell your soul to an angel anyway? Soul-buying, isn't that demon trade? He wonders if this kid's parental figures have taught him anything; he knows Claire would never do something so ridiculous. He and Amelia taught her better than that. But then, he guesses, he and Amelia did argue about whether to raise Claire in be religion, and even though Amelia won that one, Jimmy did his best to keep any of the weirder ideas from taking root. Maybe religion is the problem.

Dean shouts at Cas something about torturing a kid, and it pulls Jimmy out of his thoughts. Cas tells Dean he doesn't have the luxury of caring about what he has to do. Jimmy is about to ask what the hell is going on when Castiel tells the Winchesters that the angel they're looking for is Balthazar. They're still trying to figure out what Balthazar's game is when another angel attacks Cas out of nowhere. Cas and the mystery angel fight and go through a window, and somewhere in all of that, Sam's car gets smashed.

Castiel goes back up to the brothers' room after the angel disappears. He tells the brothers that the angel, a soldier for Raphael, is gone. Dean and Sam don't get what the problem is. Castiel tells them that Raphael wants to take over Heaven, and he's got a number of followers who want that too. Castiel, though, and a bunch of other angels, don't want that. Jimmy tells Cas that sounds a bit like the civil war that his angel just started, and Sam says more or less the same thing.

Cas gets some myrrh and takes some of Dean's blood to find out where Balthazar is. Dean asks why Castiel can't use his own blood, and Cas says, "It won't work. I'm not human." Jimmy asks Cas what that means. Is his body Castiel's now? How is he not human now, when he was before this whole thing got started? He can't get an answer.

They find Balthazar, and Cas goes in ahead of the brothers to speak with him. Balthazar makes an awful "frog in your throat" joke, and Castiel tells him that even he knows that's bad. Jimmy quietly applauds him again. Jimmy thinks that Balthazar is okay, minus the horrible joke, mostly because he's a bit more of a realist than Cas sometimes is. And he agrees that Cas has a stick up his arse.

And then Raphael shows up again. Jimmy hates Raphael even more than he hated Uriel, and he honestly didn't think that was possible. Raphael beats Cas up, and Balthazar comes back and gets rid of his vessel. Why does Castiel insist on arguing with all of his brothers? Jimmy doesn't understand, but then, he never had any brothers—or sisters—to fight with—and he's noticing that angels seem to enjoy making big fucking deals out of the tiniest of things.

Somehow, Sam and Dean have met up with their grandfather and are working with him and a motley crew of other supposed family members to hunt demons. Jimmy's surprised with this news, but he can't be too bothered to worry about it right now. It takes him a while to make the connection between Crowley mentioning a man called Samuel Campbell and the Winchesters' grandfather. Dean says there might be a holy weapon in town, which is extraordinarily relevant to Castiel's current interests.

Dean is extremely irritated and asks why Cas hasn't come sooner because he's been calling for him for days. He's staring at Cas in a way that Jimmy thinks is suggestive of something else, though. Castiel says he can't tell them anything about Sam, so that's not why he came. He pours Dean another drink and assures him that Sam isn't Lucifer. Dean asks what's going on with his brother, and Castiel apologetically says he doesn't know. Dean asks what happened to Cas and says that he "used to be human, or at least like one". Cas is understandably confused, and so is Jimmy: What is Dean even talking about? Cas has never been particularly human, in Jimmy's opinion.

Castiel reminds Dean that the angels are having a civil war, and he has to do things he normally wouldn't. Dean asks about the horn, and Castiel goes to look for it. He's back in about an instant to tell Dean that Gabriel's horn isn't here, and Dean gets snippy with him for a moment before Cas says that he'll ask around, see what he can find out.

Dean calls for Cas to come see what's wrong with Sam. Castiel shows up and the first thing he mentions is that Sam looks like shit. Castiel asks Sam some questions, if he's feverish or sleeping, and they discover that Sam is apparently not having any feelings. Castiel advises Sam to mentally go to a happy place and puts his hand in Sam's chest. Dean asks if Cas found anything, and then if it's good that he didn't.

Cas tells them that Sam's soul is missing. Jimmy thinks that it's pretty irresponsible of the moose to not keep up with it. He can't remember the lessons from when he went to Sunday school as a kid, and he hasn't bothered to open up a Bible since he was about twelve. Even when he and Amelia were planning their wedding, he avoided as much religion for that as he could.

But he's pretty sure you're supposed to be really careful with your soul. Isn't it your ticket into Heaven or something like that? Of course, that's given you even believe that stuff.

Then again, he wasn't really paying attention when Sam went into the cage with Michael and those rings and whatever, so maybe that was a thing he had to do. Maybe he couldn't bring his soul back. And at least Sam didn't sell his soul, right? Not like Dean. Dean, so co-dependent on his brother and on Castiel, sold his soul to bring his brother back. And he only got a year for it.

Now, that's irresponsible, Jimmy thinks. Surely Dean could have negotiated his way into something better than one measly little year.

Jimmy has lost count of the number of times those two have died. One thing's for sure, and it is that this number is too many. Once is enough.

Castiel heals Sam's jerk-inflicted injuries, and they all go to ask Samuel Campbell about his return from the dead. Jimmy thinks the Winchesters and their family are starting to turn into 'Night of the Living Dead'. Castiel tells Jimmy he doesn't understand, and Jimmy tells him that one day, they're going to have a zombie film marathon. Samuel makes a crack about Castiel looking scraggy, and Castiel says that his true form is huge. Jimmy wishes everybody would stop thinking he's just a little nerdy dude: it's getting old. Castiel tests Samuel to see if he has a soul, and then he tells Dean he'll keep looking to see what he can find out about getting Sam's soul back. But he's in the middle of the war, so he has to go.

Jimmy is lost in thought one day after the boys hook up with their grandfather to hunt demons and other beasties – and, coincidentally, are working for Crowley. Jimmy thinks it is complete bullshit that the Winchesters are working with a demon now – and not just any demon, but the brand-new King of Hell himself – after they've spent so many years hunting them. So he's taken up playing mental games with himself as a hobby. It keeps him from getting too annoyed.

He comes back to earth just in time for Castiel to come to Sam because of some shit about the "Ark of the Covenant". Jimmy tries to tell Cas that it's just another one of the Winchesters' stupid pop culture references, but Cas ignores him and shows up anyway. And, of course, Jimmy is right, and Castiel gets mocked.

They want help finding Crowley. Again. Cas tries to tell them that he's in the middle of a fucking war, and Sam threatens death. Jimmy says, "You need help," and for the third time, his words actually come out of Castiel's mouth. He still doesn't understand how or why it happens, or if it's something they can even control. It seems to be when Jimmy is sarcastic, but that's not a guarantee of it because Jimmy is sarcastic a lot.

Dean says he owes Sam dinner because Castiel actually came. Castiel finally agrees to do a spell to find Crowley, but it doesn't work. They go to Samuel Campbell's office to search for a clue to Crowley's location, but Campbell shows up before they find anything. Castiel gives them some privacy for the moose and the jerk to have a little conversation with their grandfather.

part III

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,